GoldenSkin

Have you ever been deceived in a beautiful way. The lies feel soo good it’s almost like they caress the ear before they pollute the mind. And the heart is already fooled. Deep down you know certain things aren’t true but it feels better to believe they are. A lie is beautiful but the truth is ugly the truth is painful the truth forces you to see what you don’t want to and to accept things you’ve rejected. So we cling to this make believe thoughts for comfort. Is that poetic or pathetic does it make you hopeless romantic or pitiful soul. For some people lies are a safe place to hide and find peace in their own fabricated lives.

I always knew I had problems but  it took me a while to figure out what they were. My inability to sit still for too long, and low tolerance for too much movement. The anxiety being in a crowed ,noisy room gives me yet still  How silent rooms make me over think and cause myself pain the same way.being semi antisocial and awkward but having such a strong desire for companionship snd genuine relationships. I long to be alone but I am lonely..I want to speak less but silence suffocates me. I want to be seen but I hate being looked at. Is there anybody else like me ?

I think the biggest issue today is people fall in love without taking the time to figure who they're falling for. we also seem to confuse emotional connections with emotional attachments, one gives you life and one sucks the life right out of you and leaves you empty. This summer I found myself attached to someone I barley knew and it was not until I got attached to this person that I saw them for who they were. I must say I was partially my fault for not paying attention the signs and for being so blinded by my feelings I couldn't see what was happening. the little comments they would make and the little inconsiderate things they would do I couldn't see until I started hurting as a result. I liked her  so much that I was afraid to mess things up so I went out of my way not to do or say anything that would but  what  didn't know was an agenda had already been set up for me in this relationship regardless of what I did it was going to turn out the same because she had...

determining your sexuality isn't as easy as people make it seem and it shouldn't have to be.  I grew up in a Jamaican Christian home where homosexuality is frowned upon so naturally I believed being gay was wrong. This belief didn't stop me from experimenting with girls sexually even though I thought it was a in and I would burn in hell for it. It was undeniable that I was attracted to females but I could never see myself because of all the things I was taught about same sex marriage as a child, the thought of dating a girl seemed silly for someone as serious as me of course  until now. this summer I fund myself quite infatuated if not in love (sometimes I cant tell the  difference) with someone the same sex as me. I was drawn this individual since I first laid eyes on her and heard her speak , sexually, emotionally and all of the above. I just wanted to be closer to this individual more and more everyday. it  was like her aura was somehow intoxic...