Sexuality Labels are such a cliche

By -
determining your sexuality isn't as easy as people make it seem and it shouldn't have to be.  I grew up in a Jamaican Christian home where homosexuality is frowned upon so naturally I believed being gay was wrong. This belief didn't stop me from experimenting with girls sexually even though I thought it was a in and I would burn in hell for it. It was undeniable that I was attracted to females but I could never see myself because of all the things I was taught about same sex marriage as a child, the thought of dating a girl seemed silly for someone as serious as me of course  until now. this summer I fund myself quite infatuated if not in love (sometimes I cant tell the  difference) with someone the same sex as me. I was drawn this individual since I first laid eyes on her and heard her speak , sexually, emotionally and all of the above. I just wanted to be closer to this individual more and more everyday. it  was like her aura was somehow intoxicating me and I slowly but surely became dependent on her presence in the worst and best ways. but somehow I knew even if she was a boy my feelings would be exactly the same because what made me want her was far beyond skin deep. regardless of what body she was in I would've still fell for her spirit so does that make me bisexual ? or just human. I felt afraid of these new feelings and everyone  told about them either turned it into a joke and said it was just a phase or said it was he devil trying to get my soul by making me think I like girls.  I decided I didn't want to have o explain my sexuality to anyone and I didn't want to be classified as gay or bisexual, I just wanted to keep being me without the labels because all they do is complicate life for me. A very unpopular opinion but still n opinion.  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Unexpectedly expected

By -
Somebody should have told me. Man I wish somebody told me I learned all my life lessons through hurt and deep pain. I Never felt the rain drops till I was stuck in the rain Somebody should have told me not to wear my heart on my sleeves Somebody should have told me who and what to believe Silly of me to think people are who they say And to expect their words to match the effort they make Howcome nobody told me how hard I could fall How hard it is to stand again once  you’ve given your all Nobody told me to love is to loose To open your heart and be stuck in the moods Or is it stuck in the blues Broken things can be beautiful too The light in me is what I saw in you Only it was never there and it was never true
Read more

Strange feelings

By -
I always knew I had problems but  it took me a while to figure out what they were. My inability to sit still for too long, and low tolerance for too much movement. The anxiety being in a crowed ,noisy room gives me yet still  How silent rooms make me over think and cause myself pain the same way.being semi antisocial and awkward but having such a strong desire for companionship snd genuine relationships. I long to be alone but I am lonely..I want to speak less but silence suffocates me. I want to be seen but I hate being looked at. Is there anybody else like me ?
Read more

Trying to love my body

By -
Image
Madison Sydney For as long as i can remember, I’ve always struggled with my weight. Usually when you hear about someone struggling about weight, you would assume it’s difficulties with weight-loss. Not in this case. Most people think that “fat” people or people with size are the only ones with weight issues but that’s not the case. For my entire life I have always been the smallest in every class/group of friends, both in size and height. Even in cases where I’ve been older I would always look like the baby of the crew. I was never comfortable in anything I did. I especially was never comfortable in the clothes i wore. I always thought that I looked too thin, and people often reminded me of it. They would make a circle around my wrist with their index finger and thumb to indicate how small I was. I also dealt with a lot of smart comments like “what size are you 0 ?” or “you need to eat a burger” as if gaining weight was as easy for everyone. I tried appetite boosters, protein shake...
Read more